Vanessa

This week marks the 24th birthday of Vanessa Ann Bentley. Vans is one of my very best friends in the whole wide world. As most people know, 18 months ago, Vans passed away in a car accident on her mission. Vanessa has been on my mind constantly for the past few weeks. Lets be honest, she has been on my mind constantly for the last 18 months, but these past few weeks it has been even more than normal. I have been thinking lots about her birthday and how I can't let it be a sad day for me. It would be easy to grieve and focus on how much I miss her and how I wish she was here with me. It would be easy to think about all the things I want to do with her and how much I want to talk to her. Instead I have made the decision that on her birthday, I will only celebrate her life and the 4 years that she was in my life here on earth and these last 18 months with her by my side.

Vans was my freshman roommate, but she is so much more than that. In January 2008, I decided to move from Helaman Halls to Wyview and it was a very inspired decision. I moved in with who would become my life long best friends. Vanessa, Angela, Hailey and I were (and are) the best of friends. We even had a dorky name that we came up with to introduce ourselves for a ward skit - Kasvangailey. (and we frequently used that name together - especially adventures with Kasvangailey). I know that God directed me to live with these 3 people because each one of them has changed my life and has helped me to become the person I am today. I will forever be grateful that the Lord blessed me with these friends.

I loved living with Vanessa. She was a joy to be around. Vanessa had a contagious laugh and it was impossible to be unhappy around her. She was funny all the time. She was tall and skinny and hated having roommates who were only 5'2" (but luckily she loved us anyways!). Vanessa loved life and she loved the gospel. She was the perfect example of being a good example. She always made the right choices and she made everyone around her better. There was just something about being around Vanessa that made you want to be a better person. I am confident that she made me a better person.

Vans and I took mission prep together. She, again, was an amazing example to me. I watched her struggle with the decision to serve a mission for months, but she made the decision to serve her Lord and her God, and she did it in an amazing way. We both turned 21 around the same time, but I didn't want to serve a mission, despite the fact that I knew I was supposed to. I watched Vanessa prepare for her mission and go forward with faith, despite everything she knew she was leaving behind. She was a rock and a strength to me. Vans got called to serve in the Utica, New York Mission. I am confident that she was the best missionary the world has ever seen.

I decided to go on a mission one month after Vans left. She had a huge impact on my decision to go because I knew that if she could do it, I could do it. She was a strength to me and set an example that helped me throughout my mission. When I told her I was going on a mission, she was of course so excited. I was even more excited to tell her that I got called to her home state of Arizona. Vanessa would always write me letters of encouragement and she would always exude excitement for the work of the Lord. The best things about her letters though, was always the bright little kid stickers all over the envelope. Although we didn't serve in the same missions, I loved that we got to serve at the same time and it was something we did together.

My world turned upside down the day that I found out Vanessa died. It was a terrible day, as anyone could imagine. I could talk for days about all the things that I experienced that day and the weeks to follow, but I could sum it all up in 6 words: God is a God of Miracles. Vans death taught me that God has a plan for each of us and that there is life after death. I know that Vans helped so many people on my mission and I have experienced so many little Vanessa Miracles. Vanessa's death changed my mission and it changed my life. It was by far the hardest thing I have ever experienced, but it taught me more than anything else ever has. Even though I miss Vanessa and I always will, I am just grateful that I got to have her in my life. I am grateful that I got to be best friends with her and that she was in my life long enough to make me a better person and to change me. I love Vanessa Ann Bentley and I always will. When I think of Vanessa, all I can think about is my gratitude to my Father in Heaven for giving me the faith to know that I will see her again and my gratitude to my Savior Jesus Christ for the Atonement!

So this week I will celebrate Vans' birthday with gratitude to God for our friendship and the person that she was! I will celebrate, knowing that that is what she would want us to do and patiently wait for the joyous day when we are all reunited! Life is beautiful!